My tune

boy life sure gets in the way of me having hardly ANY f'n time for myself
that coupled with my inexperience thus inefficiency.....coupled with the fact that this tune is 22 min long
i get a few hours out of the MONTH to work on this
BUT
the writing is nearly done

what i have left at this point is to tweak the drums of the last 4 min or so (fills etc.) and then i'll do a final audit of drums for the entire length of the song to make sure i'm comfy enough
then i'm finally off to the mixing stage

i've got a name for the tune but no clue what my alias would be doh!

i'm pretty sure that nobody will really like it and to many it will come off very novice
i really did bite off way more than i could chew but that's just where my interests and aspirations end up
but all said there should be tidbits peeps can appreciate and the hard work and creativity can't be denied

next tune at least the GOAL is that is will be much shorter and less complex
i would love to do a reggae dub tune but i also dream of making something worthy of a terminal window release

would you all say that a reggae dub track just wouldn't fit in with the rest?
i kind of feel that way but then again i just love music and have no problem with wild collages

boy life sure gets in the way of me having hardly ANY f'n time for myself
that coupled with my inexperience thus inefficiency.....coupled with the fact that this tune is 22 min long
i get a few hours out of the MONTH to work on this
BUT
the writing is nearly done

Ugh, I hear you - I barely have time to myself and when I do I have to choose which of the dozen things I don't usually have time for to devote that bit of time to... and a lot of the time I probably just waste the time I get anyway

But that's great that you're making progress - your persistence is an inspiration

yeah there's no doubt that whenever i choose to work on music - i'm ignoring a whole list of "want to do's" and "need to do's" that i can only address with my free time

so there's a balance to be had and it's one i surely struggle with

idk.....this really makes me happy and is a labor of love. so i'm trying to enjoy life and stuff?
not brushing off my responsibility entirely or other things.....but sometimes i just feel like being happy is more important than the daily grind and everything else

frustrating stuff
from my early teens my biggest life complaint was "not enough hours in the day" and zero doubt that complaint has never changed. i mean it's way worse as an adult lol

sometimes i feel a bit handicapped or something when i look at others in the world and just ask....."how the EFF does this person have TIME for THAT???!!?"

i feel like i'm really not doing anything more than i can already do?

oh well

YOLO my brothers

This conversation really hits home with me right now - I've been boiling this morning over an argument had last night about how any time I have to work on music is going to cease once this kid comes into the world - I mean, I understand my responsibilities and priorities, but I don't like being told I won't have ANY time for me - I'll just have to get used to life without sleep - because if I can't find the time to do what makes me happy, I'm not to be a pleasant person to be around - it's been my biggest fear these past couple years

It's different with every couple and every single kid - and don't let all those people tell you HOW WILL IT BE - because no one knows - and those who claim they do (or claim to have found out some method to come on top) - are full of shit

The point is you will have to sacrifice some things, sacrifice some time. HAVE to is a shitty word in there, but it will be most likely - you will WANT to sacrifice some things/time is order to be there in the baby's life. (but even if you don't want to - you'll have to - so take your pick...) - This is all under presumption that you wanted the baby and that you wanted to be a (more or less, normal) parent.

It's really a complex equation with hundreds of variables - will you two raise the kid alone? - is that the right thing to do? - will you need help? - what kind of help? - grandparents help? - pro-nanny help? - will you vaccine for everything? - kinder-garden at what age exactly? - bowel-cramps? - what kind of diapers? - what kind of food? - how much time does the wife has before going back to work? - do you have any free time at work? (use it!!!) - it goes on and on and on...

- Just remember - don't listen to anybody's advice on this (except pediatricians and orthopedic doctors) - because everybody with a kid imagine themselves as experts and almost none of them are, even the grandmas and the old aunts. The bullshit detector in these situations is - if anyone starts telling you how to do things without you asking them about advice - just ignore them. And even if you ask, if the approach is not - "hey man, I tried this, it worked, maybe you try it or some variation..." - then again, ignore it.

PS - and a picture for Seedy - because he doesn't have FB

good god pande you got a handsome kid brewing there!
and that blonde hair blue eyes is out of nowhere??
great stuff...healthy and happy what more could you want?!



dang nmesh did i know you had a kid on the way.....ah the mind slips sometimes

look, you're a good dude.....you're going to want to give your all for this kid etc.

time is GOING to be lost there is just zero doubt.
your life is going to have a radical change - again, zero doubt if you truly care about this new role
your way of thinking will change - your view of the world will change

as a proud and dedicated parent - i wouldn't change a thing about it
sacrifice takes on a new meaning. it's tough and it's easy at the same time, if that makes sense.
you do what you have to do and then see what time you have left over.

now that's not to say you can't work to still make time for yourself etc.
just takes careful planning and consideration etc. and i think that many peeps are much better at doing this than me or something idk

also keep in mind that the life of a parent is ever evolving as your kid evolves
some stages fly and others take longer but all said it's a living breathing evolution for the whole family
right now my kid is getting to the point where he can entertain himself pretty well....and so that opens up more opportunity to get things done. before then, you had to watch a lot to make sure he's not getting into stuff, tending to every need etc. i'm not checking diapers all day as he uses the toilet etc.

let go of the fear. the joy that a loving dad gets from his kid makes so many of the hardships worth it.
time will be found - it just simply will be less. you surely will be working on music some late nights too
you aren't losing yourself you are just adding to it
you're still going to be the nmesh that we're all incredibly proud of and you are going to continue to push that forward
music is a part of you - there's no way that much can be extracted



did i just break pande's rule about advice etc. there?
lol maybe. i'm no expert that's for sure. but i would think that what i just said is pretty well within the realm of reason

[Ross]

My perspective on life in general - not kids, obviously - is never take on more than you can do comfortably while still having time to spare. I'd never take on a really high flying job, one that requires long hours, overtime, lots of planning and organising in your time off etc., because no amount of money is going to give me back the time that I've lost. There were a few years when I wasn't really making music, at which point much of my spare time was spent socialising (back when I was a student). But I always make time for these things.

Of course, it depends what you have in your life. My ideal life is actually a very simple one. Some people like going out a lot, travelling, having multiple demanding hobbies, doing well-paid jobs, doing freelance work, volunteering, etc. etc. In which case, being creative is going to be difficult. For me, having a dog is more than enough on top of my own personal pursuits (walking, music, books) so I plan on taking little else on; otherwise I'll end up unhappy because I'll be skimping on one of them and not giving it its full attention.

Seedy - offcourse he's handsome - he looks like his daddy
I have blue eyes, and the hair is bright-brown actually, again, when I was kid had that same hair, it turned dark slowly and it was dark at about 8 years of age

And yes Seedy - you broke the rule - do not give advice unless you're asked - it applies for kids - but it's a good general rule for life too - try it - you'll be surprised how easier life gets

Ross - 3 years ago I'd agree with you but recently more and more I find out that not stepping out of your comfort zone is actually not a very good thing - but in your case it's probably a good thing - I don't know...

Guys thank you for the insight - and for the kind words Seedy - I realize life is going to change drastically once my little girl comes into this world - and hell my priorities might not only HAVE to change, I might WANT them to change - if that makes sense - only time will tell - its still very exciting, I'm just a little overwhelmed right now with everything going on (this Terminal episode, holy shit!, 4 hour mix for TMT, multiple collabs and an album due out on Orange Milk that has basically come to a halt at this point) Its all very stressful, but its a good stress - I'm never bored, and I like it that way - So I'm rushing to get everything done, because March 15th will be here before I know it - for the first time in years I'm at a point in my music that I only dreamed about 10 years ago - and part of me feels like its getting snatched away as soon as I got there - I'll just have to find that balance somehow or another - I don't mean to come off negative, it's just that all my life I was very accustomed to ME-time - and its disappearing quick - I'm not so good with change (can you tell!) But it'll work itself out, i'm sure. Thanks for the pep talk guys - and sorry to hijack your thread, Seedy. lol

This conversation really hits home with me right now - I've been boiling this morning over an argument had last night about how any time I have to work on music is going to cease once this kid comes into the world - I mean, I understand my responsibilities and priorities, but I don't like being told I won't have ANY time for me - I'll just have to get used to life without sleep - because if I can't find the time to do what makes me happy, I'm not to be a pleasant person to be around - it's been my biggest fear these past couple years

yeah its tough, but I've made more work and had more success since my two daughters came along ( the eldest helps with arrangemts and ideas) so its not as bad as you think, just makes you realise what time you've not used where you could of.

I wish I could do less "day job" hours and fill that with music, I hope that's coming

kids are everything - they need the first 3 years from you though, totally full on, past that - its all good

Guys thank you for the insight - and for the kind words Seedy - I realize life is going to change drastically once my little girl comes into this world - and hell my priorities might not only HAVE to change, I might WANT them to change - if that makes sense - only time will tell - its still very exciting, I'm just a little overwhelmed right now with everything going on (this Terminal episode, holy shit!, 4 hour mix for TMT, multiple collabs and an album due out on Orange Milk that has basically come to a halt at this point) Its all very stressful, but its a good stress - I'm never bored, and I like it that way - So I'm rushing to get everything done, because March 15th will be here before I know it - for the first time in years I'm at a point in my music that I only dreamed about 10 years ago - and part of me feels like its getting snatched away as soon as I got there - I'll just have to find that balance somehow or another - I don't mean to come off negative, it's just that all my life I was very accustomed to ME-time - and its disappearing quick - I'm not so good with change (can you tell!) But it'll work itself out, i'm sure. Thanks for the pep talk guys - and sorry to hijack your thread, Seedy. lol

we're all one big family - Good luck daddio

[Ross]

Ross - 3 years ago I'd agree with you but recently more and more I find out that not stepping out of your comfort zone is actually not a very good thing - but in your case it's probably a good thing - I don't know...

Well, yes, as an aspie I definitely need my comfort zone as intact as possible! But I suppose my point was more along the lines of: if you're taking something new on, be prepared to drop something to give it space. Don't overload yourself, or you'll end up struggling to enjoy any of it.

bahhh guilty i guess
though i tried to say in the realm of prediction more than advice


no worries about the hijack
i love threads that evolve i mean that's how we would talk if we were face to face


it will come full circle at one point when my tune is ACTUALLY complete

[Ross]

I suppose we have little to say about your track as we've not heard anything of yours! What does it sound like? Genres? Influences?

Dub would be fine on Terminal Window. The albums are pretty varied as it is...

dude that's a big part of the issue

i've never made music that fits any genre and so it's just left as "bizarre" and what seems hard to digest by most

i just have this tendency to go off in "progressive" tangents and "noodle" a lot
and it's like i can identify that i'm doing it....i know that the masses and even niche groups won't really like it
but i continue on because i do this for me

i make it for me and like to share it with peeps that mean something to me. they don't have to like it - to me the joy is just having someone see a piece of myself

there are surely snippets of tunes i've written that are accessible - but as a whole it's always just this big composed thing that i try to make as complex as possible

this tune is 20 f'n min long with 4 on the floor beats yet somehow comes off as like a rock vibe or something to me lol
it's a journey that revolves around a common theme from an organ riff

i really just don't know
the best conclusion i've come to in describing it is "synth wankery"

as said i'm really thinking/hoping that my next tunes are going to ease off a bit and bring about a more simple common theme. a dub track has boundaries in many ways so we'll see if i stick to them.

in the end - i really just can't wait to share it with you folks truly